Jodi Anderson Writings

kanye & dinosaurs

[X doing Kanye doing X.]

X: "Yo, dinosaurs, I'm'a let ya finish, but the thylacine is the best extinct creature of all time."

if joss whedon wrote a cthulhu mythos

[planning meals and making a shopping list for x] 

jodi:  Oh, we'll go to the market and get chicken breast with no things in it.
 
x:  You are, like if, Joss Whedon wrote a Chthulhu mythos. 

jodi:  I mean, not injected with antibiotics. 

x:  'A tentacled thing rises out of the depths.'

jodi:  Ah, I get it.  Like this?  'A tentacled thing rises from the depths of a space of wetness and into a place that is not wet where there are creatures with sticks coming out of their core and they transport in a vertical way.'

x:  That's extreme, but yes.  This also reminds me of if Lovecraft wrote the Twilight series.  'The wretched beast stepped out into the meadow, where it began its eldrich scintillation.'

lent

child:  What are you giving up for Lent?
me:  Jesus.

jane seymour

me:  Jane Seymour is on The Tudors?  Isn't she like twice Jonathan Rhys Meyer's age? 
X:  She was one of the queens.
me:  I didn't know King Henry had a much older wife.  
X:  Jane Seymour was the name of his wife.   
me:  He had a wife named 'Jane Seymour'?  I thought they were talking about the actress.
X:  Who? 
me:  Haven't you ever heard of 'Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman'?
X:  Haven't you ever read a history book on King Henry VIII?

attention, staff

X:  Okay, here's a trivia quiz about me ... My demon tribe lives rather peacefully with the other local tribes, but when we do fight, what is my weapon of choice? 
j:  Alchemy staff?   
X:  Close.  Staff.

thanks

X:  Don't die!
me:  [underwhelmed]  Thanks.
X:  That's me trying to sound encouraging. 
me:  [carries bookshelf down the stairs]